Hiccups Treated by Pakistani Aviators in USA

Only if Maj. Siraj had known that there were  many Totkas a lot simpler than the Shock Treatment.

 

From

 

K. Bajwa

 

The Hiccups Treated by Pakistani Aviators in USA

 Reflections by an Old Aviator, Maj Siraj (17 PMA)

In 1963 thirteen Army Aviators from Pakistan were sent to USA for helicopter conversion course. We left Karachi by US MATS (Military Air Transport Service). When we landed at Madrid (Spain), most of us dashed for the Bars. Eleven of us drank there but I and another officer were tea teetotalers. 

 

 

 Surprisingly most of the eleven officers, who hit the Bars, never drank in Pakistan.  

 

 

I asked  them: "Why are you drinking here?"

Without any hesitation they said, " Because drinks are pretty cheap here."

One of them winked at me and said, " And women?.....They are also beautiful here (which was a fact)."

 

 

We were given some cash allowance before leaving Pakistan. Joe (Nick name of one Aviator) spent his entire allowance on drinks in Spain. Our first stop in USA was at Lackland Air Force Base at San Antonio,Texas where we were supposed to stay for 3 weeks to learn English. Poor Joe had exhausted all his finances in Madrid and had taken loan from some of us for his daily meals. We could not spare much as we did not have sufficient money to give him as loan because all of us got the same allowance from the US Army.

 

 

 

After the first day, Joe stopped attending the English classes as he had severe hiccups and could not eat any food. Our Hosts (US Army) got upset and sent him to the Army Hospital but the doctor could not cure him. Then a board of doctors examined him and gave their diagnosis that he was suffering from acute starvation. Officers Mess prepared special food for Joe but still he couldn't eat it due to his hiccups. The Hospital was extremely upset with his condition and wanted to fly him to the best Army hospital located at Washington DC. 

 

 

One of our colleagues, nick name "Ganja", said, " I  know what they do back in my village to stop hiccups."

 

 

 "Ganja" planned to try the village "totka" on Joe. I was deliberately kept out of that plan. He got two other officers from our batch and went to Joe's room and told him, " You've stolen money from Capt Siraj's room. You can be arrested for this crime and may have to spend a term in jail here in USA. Then you will be deported to Pakistan."

 

"Who told you that?" inquired Joe angrily.

"Siraj has told me today", Ganja replied innocently.

 

 

 Joe screamed at the top of his voice,"He is a bloody liar. I am gonna kill him."

 

 

The other two officers, who had accompanied Ganja, also made Joe extremely upset and mad. Joe wanted to beat me up but was held on the bed by those two strong guys. 

 

 

Ganja ran up to my room and said, "Siraj, just disappear from your room because Joe wants to kill you." 

 

 

I hid myself and could not understand what was happening. Ganja asked me for $5  which I gave willingly because he had given me early warning to save me from Joe's wrath. Ganja and his two accomplices joined Joe's search and pretended to hunt me down in every room. Joe was very furious and his hiccups were gone.

 

 

Then Ganja told Joe, " Relax! Joe. Siraj doesn't know anything. I had to give you this "Shock Treatment" to stop your hiccups. Now you behave and don't spend all your allowance on drinks. Save something for your meals also."

My $ 5 were spent to buy food for Joe and he was normal once again. 

 

 

In 1979, when after retirement I was in Colorado, USA, I heard repeatedly on the local TV channel that there was a person who had severe hiccups and could not be cured. They asked if any doctor anywhere in Colorado could help him. 

 

 

I immediately called the TV anchorman and said, "I am not a doctor but maybe I could help him if I can speak to his wife."

 

 

He gave me the phone number of that man's wife. I rang her and said, " I want to cure your husband."

 

 

"What will you charge?" she asked.

 

"Absolutely nothing" was my answer. "Does your husband have any heart problem?"

 

"No." she said.

 

 

"My cure may work or it may not . But I think it's no harm in trying as all other treatments have failed." I told her.

 

 

She immediately agreed. I also found from the lady that her husband was a very honest person. My "treatment" based on his honesty. I planned to pretend as an IRS (Internal Revenue Service) officer. In USA everyone is dead scared of IRS.

 

 

 I told her, " I am going to call after a few minutes. You should not pick up the phone but allow your husband to pick it up."

 I rang up again and the man picked up. I said to him, " I'm from IRS and have a court order to put you under arrest for not disclosing your taxes honestly."

 

 

 He got extremely shocked and his hiccups were gone. Later, his wife told him that it was just a "Shock Treatment" to cure his hiccups. The man gave out a big laugh.

 

The news anchorman of local TV channel was extremely surprised, but I never told him how I cured the man. In the night my name was repeatedly announced on that channel that I've cured the Hiccup man. I think the credit shouldn't go to me. It should go to the Aviator called "Ganja" who cured Joe's hiccups back in 1963. What do you think?